the heretic genetic algorithm

And it was rather ace. The sprog ate way too many sweets and has existed in a twilight fugue of noisy electronic toys and snot ever since. My presents were rather ace, including a new mixer and some lush clothes that actually fit :) Ate a lot and had fun without feeling excessive in either calories or consumerism. Success!

Still feeling a bit ramped by my aunt's visit yesterday. My grandad had cut his hand open, so she was in a manic tizzy of concern - wouldn't eat, barely drank, didn't really enjoy the time she spent with the sprog... just a haze of suffocating over-concern. I sound a bit mean there. It's partly down to just being exhausted to the point of tears with fighting this with rational behaviour, but partly down to the fact that while running today, I realised that I really quite detest over-helpful people. And that's not a nice thing to realise about yourself,

I mostly fall into the realm of pragmatic assistance - you do what you can do, and try not to feel guilty about the rest. Years of alcoholic parents have made me both quite good and quite bad at this, so I can appreciate both sides of the story. So over-helpful people firstly get up my nose because they upset my fragile balance and tip me into feeling guilty. But secondly, I get annoyed because they just absorb any rational suggestions or behaviour into their own black hole of martyred panic. Nobody else can be effective around them because all sense and effectiveness is drained into supporting the panicker. Which is great for them as they are yet more shiny in their beacon of saintliness, but is pretty fucking demoralising and annoying for those around them.

seriously, by the end of their visit, I could have either screamed at them or cried with frustration.

Oh well - guess I better phone and check how things are. Happy New Year if I don't make it back to LJ before the 31st :)

OK - quick informal poll:

1. Who here orders specific Christmas gifts from at least one person? (e.g. "Honey, could I have a puppy for christmas")
2. Who is that from? Kids, parents, spouse, everyone?
3. Is this a good way of doing things in your opinion, or just a necessity?
4. Have you ever not bought someone a present rather than bought something for the sake of it?

Just interested - I seem out of step on this one. Will post something to make sense of it!

I was strangely touched today to receive presents from one of the ladies I deliver Avon to. Note the plural there - a bottle of wine, and multiple heavy gifts. Blimey. I got all teary, and was eternally grateful that I'd at least written her a card.

I was also strangely touched by watching The Snowman with Ben. I guess I just remember watching it with my dad. He loved Christmas, and at this time of year I miss him a lot. And New Year, when he always used to get quite maudlin. I'm feeling guilty at the moment for not making more effort to stop him re-start drinking. I know it's not my bag to carry, but you probably see why I feel bad.

I'm feeling wobbly in general. I'm tired to the bone, Christmas is a stress (*) and makes me teary and over-sentimental. I feel a bit undervalued by my brother these days, for reasons too numerous and ephemeral to list here. I'll get over that, I reckon. Just listing the things that I morosely ponder in the wee small hours.

I took a trip to Exeter with Ben this week. Exeter is where I went to University, and I took the old frequented scenic route down from Tiverton along the flooded fearful Exe into the north end of the city, where I met my ex for lunch. Weird - him witha wedding ring, and me with a baby - but quite pleasant to catch up. I then went to see my godson. He's two and a half, and doesn't talk yet. Just squeals and kicks and bites. He's getting better, marginally, but there's another thing to worry about. And then I met my ex's mother for lunch on the way back. Which is always nice. I'm glad we still get along, as I have few enough mother-figures in my life.

Continuing on that theme, and back to the * above, I do have some issues with mother figures, I guess. My common-law mother-in-law, for example, winds me up. Her level of pointless perfection at Christmas is a killer for me - the presents are pre-ordered, regardless of whether anyone wants anything in particular, then they have to be meticulously wrapped, correctly labelled and delivered in time for Christmas.

Guess what I was doing today, then?

I'm just from a family that does minimal gifting, and sees each other around CHristmas to drop off any cards and pressies, I guess. And if we can't think of a gift, we don't really bother. My mother-in-law frequently winds me up on all sorts of issues, though, and I'm prepared to admit I do have problems dealing with maternal authority figures.

Anyway, I'm tired and I want to play FF12. See y'all post-festivities...

Christmas was great - I spent it mainly snuggled on the sofa with 0ct0pus, eating nice food and watching telly. A total break which was sorely needed.

Even Boxing Day with my family was good - we knocked up food from the previous day's feast, and watched my new Willy Wonka DVD.

On the 28th, we went to London to look at exhibitions. I ate a lot of sushi in Paddington Station, looked at the Wildlife Photographer of the Year exhibition, and went to the British Museum.

On the 30th, I visited family, had a really good meetup with an old friend, and a random conversation with a strange lady.

On the 31st, my brother split up with his girlfriend. I went to pick him and his stuff up, and have now acquired a second tortoiseshell cat. Don't know how long I'm keeping her.

On the 2nd, I wrote my resolutions and saw my ex. Those two are in no way co-related ;)

Yesterday, I went to see my godson in Devon. He is 5 months old, and all of teh cute :))

Now I'm working from home. I need to find some clean clothes and something to eat before I expire. That's two weeks of my life in about half a dozen sentences.